Ramblings by RexManning

here are some loosely connected ramblings by RexManning. maybe you'll identify with this or parts of this, or maybe you'll wonder "what are talking about?" If you find yourself in the latter you are blessed.

Three years ago I moved. I was in a place doing lots of things where I was and it was in these things that I found my identity. I came to not like that about me. Now I’m in a place where I do much less. I wish I could say that I feel better but I really don’t. I wish I could report that I found myself in the transition or the going through changes or just in god but I haven’t discovered me in any of it.
I wonder if 'it' (our sence of self or maybe worth) is somehow connected to our actions (for which some say we are judged upon … whether by god or man), or is it about just being? I’ve heard it said by Buddhist and Christian alike that we need to find ourselves not in our doing but in our being. If that is so then what are we to do? Are we just passing time from conception to the grave?
If we are just passing time does any of this matter - the processes and experiences that form us? Even so, how much of our character is made up of what we precieve to be right or wrong in our actions or opinions. (This is where I get tangled up.) Wasn’t the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil something that was never meant for man/woman?
I find no worth in and of myself, yet I crave the attention and affirmation of others.
and still I lift my eyes up to the heavens. Where does my help come from? Does my worth come from the maker of heaven and earth? When I consider these things I wonder who am I that you are mindful of me?
If you think I have had some idea that resembles truth near the end when I start to talk about god, I fear you may have missed my concern in all of this. It is much easier to say than to rearrange my mind to settle on any answer here. Maybe there is no answer – just ideas. I’ll end it here so that there will be room for discussion.

so do we pray for healing?

so, we've been talking about healing recently.
why? 2 reasons. cause many of us and others around us have bodies that are broken, sick, failing. AND cause healing is something that happens when the Kingdom of God is at hand. Jesus healed not to prove that He was Divine (though He was), but to prove that the kingdom of God was beginning to be revealed on earth.
anyways, last sunday we dove into the difficult waters of faith and healing--how having enough faith isn't the only matter in healing. God's will is the ultimate matter in healing...
too many people have been weighted down with guilt because someone has told them that if only they had more faith they would have been healed, or their child would have lived, or whatever. when all the while, they had as much faith as they could muster and had prayed like crazy, and still they weren't healed, or their child didn't live. healing requires faith, but it is ultimately a matter that rests in the will of God.
and so we ended by talking about the need to come at prayer in a new way. instead of just prayer for our desires and tacking on "but not my will but yours be done, Jesus teaches and invites us to begin prayer with discernment (to begin by asking God what His will is, to ask God what He wants us to pray for...), and then to pray for that, to seek Him for His will. confident that what we seek is God's will.
the challenge of this is that discernment takes time. it isn't always just a matter of asking in the moment, hearing in the moment, and then praying. it takes time. time to listen. time to discern God's voice. time to have God search and sift our desires and reveal His. but in the end, it is a gift to come to God knowing that what we seek is truly His will, to know that we are seeking what God is seeking.
now as i said on sunday (repeatedly) this isn't the whole story on healing and prayer (and prayer for healing). there is so much more that could be said and that needs to be said.
and one of those things is what James says in James 5:14. but before i explain the verse (that most of us know), let me explain why i'm even bringing it up.
i guess i walk away from sunday concerned that any of us might now think that we shouldn't pray for healing, that we can't pray for healing, that we're only allowed to pray for healing, unless we've first heard God say that its His will to heal... cause its true, it isn't always God's will to heal... BUT it is always His heart (His desire).
and so, although i know that Jesus is calling us to learn to seek to know His will so that we might pray in faith for His will, He also invites us through James to ask for healing prayer. james 5:14, "Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord."
so what does this mean? does the Bible teach us to ask for prayer for healing when we're sick, or does it teach us to seek to know GOd's will and then pray for that? well, i'd say both.
God is not a slot machine. Christianity is not a system. we are children of a Living God who relates to us as a Living God. He has a will and desires (as we do). He is sovereign and all-knowing (unlike us). but that doesn't mean that He is impersonal. if anything, the Bible affirms to us that God is personal. we are invited into a living relationship with Him. to worship and trust and surrender to Him, but also to wrestle with him. sometimes God has even been known to change His will.
may God grant us humility as we wrestle with God and ourselves, and may His Kingdom and His will always win out... for His glory and our joy in Him.
your companion in the journey,
scott b. anderson